chimeracorp:

Why tiptoe into hell when you can backflip into a cannonball. I like Mackenzie’s style.

dennys:

The way someone likes their eggs can give untold insights into their personality.

Scrambled: You play by your own rules. You only wear white after labor day. You take your martini’s shaken AND stirred. Bartenders dislike you for that.

Hard Boiled: Is there anything you don’t know? You’ve got book smarts, street smarts and great parallel parking skills. But you’re also genetically predisposed to a rare disease. Sorry you had to find out this way.

Fried: You’re a laid back character who can’t be bothered with much. If there’s a flow you’re gonna go with it. But let’s be real, you always pay your taxes on time.

Sunny Side Up: Nobody knows the real you. It’s all a façade covering up the darkness within. You’ve got ‘em all fooled including yourself. Bravo.

Raw: You’re the kind of person whose underdog story could inspire all of Philadelphia. You never quit even when things get rocky.

tastefullyoffensive:

(via Will Smith)

frootshow:

when u finally catch that Pokemon u been tryin to find for forty minutes

thetrippytrip:

$29 eyeshadow ☠ ☠ ☠

the-murderous-bettie-rage:

I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MY ENTIRE LIFE.

saheeli-rais-wife:

surprisebitch:

sdawgggg:

surprisebitch:

onegirlintheback:

jennytrout:

scparrisofficial:

hillary-for-president2016:

I… guess I couldn’t resist?

Shut up

Who plays the ukulele?

TRICK QUESTION THEY ALL PLAY THE UKULELE 

I don’t know why but like I really want Clinton to be the drummer.

“They told me girls can’t be drummers. I said fuck'em.”

Clinton - drums and vocals

Obama - vocals and guitar

Kane - bass

Bernard - keyboards

then yeah, when a ukulele has to be played, one of them will play it. they can also play the banjo

WHAT ABOUT BIDEN

yup

We dem bois

maria–reynolds:

“Hold the fuck up.” I say. I am the fuck up. Please hold me.

thebootydiaries:

me: *walking casually toward to pet store exit*

employee: ma’am, did u or did u not put a kitten in ur purse

me:

employee: ma’am,

me: *slowly taking a kitten out of my purse* i guess u could say the cat is out of the bag haha :) 

employee:

me: lol :)

employee:

me: :) 

toocooltobehipster:

bye

imanes:

weird how lighting a candle can make u feel marginally better like ur still feeling the same but at least there’s a candle burning… nice

alaiha:

chvkwve:

I like being invited to things.
I don’t necessarily like going
But I like being invited.